Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape. ― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations Pain is great motivator. Rather, avoiding pain is a great motivator. We avoid pain like… Read »

If you have been following this blog you have probably noticed that I write about fear a lot. A LOT. It is on purpose. So many, perhaps all of our thoughts, feelings and actions (or inaction) are fueled by fear. What will my parents think? What if that makes me look bad? Stupid? Selfish? What… Read »

By Ashlee Secord, LMFT I had a young woman in my office several weeks ago, we’ll call her Janine.  Janine has been looking for a career change for some time and in the course of her search she and her boyfriend broke up. Although she knew there was a possibility of this coming she stated… Read »

 By Ashlee Secord Do you ever get the feeling that you’re not getting anything done? That no matter WHAT you do there is always more? Life can begin to feel redundant, like you’re just going through the motions. This is a dangerous place to be because our words and actions can begin to feel …pointless. … Read »

  99% of us live in fear. Okay, I just made that number up, but think about it.  Think about what motivates us or propels us into action or inaction.  Do you get up and go to work because you love what you do or because if you don’t you won’t get paid.  And we… Read »

“A poet should be so crafty with words that he is envied even for his pains.” – Criss Jami When I hold my Confident Women workshops we discuss changing negative self-talk, transforming  negative personal messages and becoming confident in all of who we are, the good and the bad. As we become comfortable with more of who… Read »

By Ashlee Secord, LMFT I think it is safe to say that none of us think too highly of ourselves. For the most part we wait until we have achieved a goal, completed a task or are complimented. THEN, then we might begin to believe there is something more to who we are.  Albeit, momentarily…. Read »

By Ashlee Secord We have high expectations for ourselves.  If you are reading a blog written by a therapist I can surmise that you have read a self-help book or two on how to do something different in your life.  I can surmise that you have both desired change and pursued it in some way… Read »

Does it ever feel like the people that you are  closest to treat you like chopped liver? Your husband repairs the neighbors garage door while your garbage disposal waits to be installed. Your mom is a gracious host to your friends but was yelling at you to clean your room less than hour ago. You… Read »

Why is it so difficult to make even the simplest decisions? Occasionally it feels like I am not the only one weighing in on my decisions.  There is a bit of “background noise” present, an audience that seems to be not too far off.  Although I cannot see them, they can see me. The audience… Read »