Grow Up


By Ashlee Secord, LMFT

Do you remember being a teenager and being so eager to grow up? I recall beingi n such a hurry to be an adult. Look at all the freedom they had! They could come and go as they pleased, they had no one to answer to, no curfew or bedtime and they could buy, eat and go whenever they wanted. What on earth did they have to be so grumpy about, don’t they know the freedom they have?

The daily-ness of life can be more overwhelming than a chaotic one. Between doing the dishes, laundry, doctor appointments, children activities, homework and discipline. Not to mention the regular expectations of work, make the bed, put away the laundry, vacuum, when was the last time I dusted?

Is this what I was in a hurry for? Is this the life I always dreamed of?


I’m going to assume that I am not the only one who feels this way. I cannot be the only one who looks not only at the last 1-5 years and thought, “I could have done more,” or “I could have created more memories.” Or asked themselves, “Where is the life in my days?” I don’t want any more weeks where I’m in a hurry for Friday to come only to dread Monday’s arrival. I don’t want to spend a solitary morning, waking up with the feeling that I will have to endure my day let alone fear that something or someone might interrupt it. Not to mention the anxiety, depression, arguing, and lack of personal fulfillment.

This is NOT what I was in a hurry for.

Was I just young? Naive? Was I unaware of the challenges, expectations, stress and responsibilities that came with employment, marriage and children? In part, yes. But who would I be without those challenges? How else would I discover what I was made of? What my priorities are? What I believed in or felt passionate enough to fight for?

Amidst the daily-ness, the day in and day out, is life. A real authentic life worth waking up for. Amidst grocery shopping, trimming your toenails and changing the oil is freedom. The freedom and courage to live out of our hearts and not our pain. We caught a glimpse of this freedom as children. Why do we struggle to see it, let alone experience it now?

We cannot escape life or the responsibilities therein. Each day we make decisions and choices that bring us closer or further from the life we desire. This included the decisions and choices we make about our thoughts and feelings. This includes our perspective. How do you perceive the life you have? What are you currently doing that makes you feel that way about it? What are you currently doing do change it? To keep it the same?


Ashlee Secord is a Marriage and Family Therapist at Thrive Therapy. Contact Thrive Therapy to discover how to start adding life into each of your days. Evening and morning counseling and therapy sessions are available each week. Thrive is conveniently located in Burnsville, MN.